Archive for the ‘lonely moments’ category


April 23, 2008

Darkness covered the four corners of my room. There was silence all over it. And there were no people outside. No uninteresting “talks”. No unwanted noise. The narrow patio outside was totally deserted. Everyone was asleep…except me.

Lying on my bed, I opened my heavy eyes. These eyes have been wanting to close but my mind seemed so restless. I felt like I was preoccupied with many things but I wasn’t thinking of anything at all.

I let my eyes behold the emptiness of my room. My eyes caught something bright, a green bulb that I use as the source of light when I sleep. But now, it’s no use. I felt like I would be awake whole night.

The squeaking sound of lizards was the only thing that breaks the silence. I was gazing at them as they play freely on the ceiling.

This small green bulb lightens up the room. I can see things clearer now. But all of them are lifeless. Not even the air that the electric fan blows can bring them to life. I’m alone. But I’m used to it.

I’ve been tossing and turning on my bed for quite some time. I spent so much time in embracing my pillow and wishing that I would finally snore after few minutes. I wanted to close my eyes and fall asleep. But the problem is that I can’t. I really can’t. It seems that my call center days are all coming back. I thought that the polyphasic “sleeps” that I had before would come once again.

Then, I felt that something was crawling on my skin. Damn! It was one filthy cockroach. WTF!  I hate it. I hate to see cockroaches fly everywhere and sleep beside me. I hate it even more to see rats eat the little food that I have. I would get rid of these pests soon!  

I got up from the bed and sat on a wooden chair. It felt good to cover my face with the palms of my hands. However, my eyes hurt every time my eyelids touch them. It felt like the smallest grains of sand were scattered in my eyes. If only I could ask my eyes and mind to cooperate, I would have done it earlier.

I grabbed my cellphone roughly to check the time. I was a bit horrified to see that it was already past twelve.

I lied down once again and finally lapsed into unconsciousness…




Black Balentayns

February 14, 2008

Balentayns na pala ngayon. Parang di ko man lang namalayan. Di na kasi big deal sa kin ang balentayns. Para sa kin, ordinaryong araw lang to na dapat salubungin sa ordinaryong paraan.

Tulad ng nakagawian, shirt at pants lang ang suot ko ngayon. Polo? No way. Wala naman akong kadate para magpaka-pormal. Lumaki rin ako sa paniniwalang pula ang sumisimbolo sa balentayns. Pero ano namang pakialam ko don. Napaka-conventional na nyan para sa kin.

Kaya ngayon eh itim na shirt ang sinuot ko. Di naman sa pinagluluksa ko ang pagpanaw ng aking mga ex. Gusto ko lang maiba. Parang sumunod tuloy ako sa isang patalastas sa TV na may temang Black Valentines. Pero okay lang. Yon din naman ang gamit kong shampoo. Kaya din siguro confident akong magblack ngayon dahil alam akong di magkakalat ang balakubak ko. 😆 Parang sinasadya nga’t di rin ako nakapag-gel.

Pagdating ko sa opis, marami rin ang nakaitim. Di pala ako nag-iisa. Marami ring di naniniwala na pula ang kulay ng pag-ibig. Sa katunayan, maraming nagsasabi na “Love is blind”. Meaning, lahat tayo’y nabubulag sa pag-ibig kaya di natin makikita ang kulay nito. 😆

Para naman sa mga hopeless romantic dyan, just go on with your lives! Mag-celebrate kayo hangga’t gusto nyo. Manood kayo ng sine, kumain sa mamahaling resto, mamasyal sa Luneta, at magcheck in sa motel. The night is all yours! 😆

Pero isa lang ang mensahe ko ngayong Balentayns…

Valentines is not only for lovers. It should also be the time to reflect on our past lovers and hope that they are still alive…alone…and miserable! 😆